Tuesday, December 31, 2013

2013 Left Me With My Cup Running Over



The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures.



He leadeth me besides the still waters. He restoreth my soul. He leadeth me in paths of righteousness for his namesake.



Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for thou art with me. Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me.



Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies. Thou anointest my head with oil. My cup runneth over.



Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord, forever. 


How can it be that I have read this and heard this repeated all my life and never until now, at age 65, understood it?

 I always thought it was lovely and nice…but that was all.

Now I realize that there is something very healing here in these words that I had never noticed before.

It was not until I was faced with the realization that I have a spiritual problem of gigantic proportions looming within me, which I cannot fix, when I read this pslam differently than I had ever read or heard it before.

My Gigantic Problem…

I cannot seem to find words that express how heavily this problem has burdened and continues to torment me.

Really the problem is actually emotional and mental but my spirit finds it extremely offensive.

So it is a spiritual problem for me. It is as though I can hear an urgent pleading of my spirit to please FIX this!

But have found it is an impossibility for me.

The word RUN as entered my heart repeatedly.

At times it has been enough to make me want to crawl out of my own skin.

Let me just say I have a new appreciation for the story of David being faced with his Goliath.

I certainly feel that I have encountered one of my own.

Of course my problem is not what I want to dwell on here.

We all must face our Goliaths, right?

It is the 23rd Psalm that I have discovered as a tender mercy from God that I am excited about.

It has become my balm of Gilead.

How I discovered it…

A friend encouraged me to read it. She told me she loved it and that it often calmed and comforted her in the midst of trouble.

She told me that any time she found herself feeling over whelmed or discouraged she would repeat it over and over until she felt better.

She even related to me that one night she rehearsed it so many times that she doesn’t remember how or when she fell asleep. The next morning she simply awoke to find herself refreshed and comforted.

I was curious about the psalm then so I did look it up and read through it.

But it was not until I had the help of a christian counselor that I began to read and feel the words in relationship to me and my life.

Was I really thinking I was going to fix THIS…? All by Myself???  

I did give it some consideration several times but felt overwhelmed and very small at each attempt. Hence, I went in search of a christian counselor at the urging of the very same friend who told me how she loved the 23rd Psalm.

Help!

Even David had the strength of the Lord when he went out to face Goliath.

I have felt my back against the wall at other times in life so I recognized this for what it was for me. Insurmountable!

But NOT something I could put on the back burner or sweep under the carpet and forget about. It had to be dealt with and soon!

My counselor suggested and had me write down a personal prayer that was based on the Lord’s Prayer.

She told me that every time I felt negative I was to replace those thoughts with this prayer. A prayer that asked Jesus to come into my mind and heart and take control as I learned to call upon him to heal this negativity and burden.  

As I recited the personal prayer I saw similarities with how I felt when I read the 23rd Psalm.

Did David write this as he struggled with his flesh? Did he have a burden to bear that was insurmountable?

As I questioned this in my heart and reflected again and again on the words of the Psalm I began to wonder if David was hurting when he wrote it.

Were these words born out of Him reaching to the ONE person who could heal him?

“He restoreth my soul”

These words jumped off the page and entered my heart like a warm sunny light.

I smiled as I read the phrase over and over, “ HE restoreth my soul”.

Tears began to flow and calm, sweet feelings gave me hope for the first time in weeks.

There it was in black and white.

HE would restore my soul. Only He could do it.

He can fix this!

Where once I saw only darkness…I now felt there was light and hope.

David knew it.

And now, somehow I knew it.

Thank you God. You are so amazing.

This psalm has become a life line, source of inspiration, comfort and love for me over the last couple of months this 2013. 
Many hard, emotionally painful things happened to me and my family during 2013 but for me this was a tender mercy from God to receive such a treasure of comfort at the end of a long dark tunnel.

The following is how the 23rd Psalm reads to me.
I have to admit though that each time I read it and recite it I feel more. So as it stands right now…this is what I have learned.

The Lord Is My Shepherd…

Out of nothing I can do…except to realize it…the Lord Is my Shepherd.

He is my Savior whether I choose to believe it or not. Nothing can now, ever has or will change that.

I am not the shepherd…I am the flock.

Me thinking that I have the power to change, be, become or fix anything about me is absurd.

The very breath I take is given by He who paid for my transgressions, pains, sufferings, hurts, problems, illnesses, burdens and cares. He knows me better than I know myself. He knows my heart and loves me anyway. His love is amazing.

He paid the price already, the very price too high and insurmountable for me to pay by myself.

Bought and purchased me with His blood. I belong to Him whether I choose to acknowledge it or not.

I am nothing without him and could survive on this planted about 2 seconds without Him.

There is great power and comfort in accepting this.

He alone can fix me.

 

I shall not want…

Accepting Him as my shepherd means that all my wants will be supplied.

This tells me that everything I need to lead and get me safely back home rests in His care.

The shepherd knows better than the sheep what they need.

But, as long as I choose to believe He is my shepherd, I will always have the very things I need. Not everything I want or desire but better than that…

The things I NEED.

Just think…with no effort on my part other than to accept the Lord as my shepherd I can have everything I need in this life. He is a failsafe way to have exactly what you need in life. No more worry about making mistakes that lead astray…stay on the path…all that is needed is to follow the shepherd.

He maketh me to lie down in green pastures…

Ever wonder where the expression, the grass is always greener on the other side of the hill came from?

We, the sheep tend to get off the path and often follow each other into parts unknown.

Looking with our natural eyes some things that are not so good for us can appear greener or better than they really are.

The shepherd knows where the greenest pastures are. His intention is to get us there the best and safest way.

He created me that I might feel the full measure and possibility of the best of what life has to offer and teach me…

His purpose is to bring about the eternal life and happiness of me and all mankind.

He has intended me to partake of the best of everything he has to offer.

The greenest pastures…the best part.

There is something about the phrase, “he maketh me to lie down in green pastures”, that lets me know that I am loved beyond my understanding.

He leadth me beside the still waters…

Rough water can evoke fear and panic paralyzing us and making the way difficult.

The Savior’s example while on this earth was to show us the paths that follow the still waters.

Choose to follow his example. Emulate His life.  

Stay close to the ways he directs us to go and the waters will always be still.

He restoreth my soul…

I have already described how reading this phrase of the psalm touched and brought hope to my heart.

Basically, He has my back.

His love and mercy is immeasurable by the world’s standards.

He has paid the price too great for me to pay.

I belong to Him.

He leadth me in paths of righteousness for His names sake…

His name, His life, His purpose…was for me.

He came to fulfill the Fathers will and save me and you.

He thought I was important enough to die for so of course he has laid out the path I need to follow. In a way it is His insurance policy. Bought and paid for with His blood. My part is just to accept Him and walk the path. Even if I made a mistake…it is fool proof.

He has left nothing to chance.

His ways and the path He laid for us are true and trustworthy. He is the same today, tomorrow as always.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for thou art with me. 

Right now I feel like I am walking through the valley of the shadow of death…walking to face my Goliath…but I am NOT alone.

My Savior will lead my steps, inspire my directions, and help me discern the choices I need to make. He will restore my soul to peace and joy.

I realize this by knowing that this burden is beyond me. It is insurmountable for me.

Then why should I fear. He has already taken care of this for me long ago when me completed the atonement and died for me and you.

He will restore and heal my heart and spirit. I feel it is true.

Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me.

A shepherd has a rod and staff. He uses these things to lead and guide his sheep. His love, His teachings, His commandments and His example are a comfort and a source of strength and light.

Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies. 

While walking on earth we encounter many who don’t want us recognize our shepherd.

These are mostly those (and/or are influenced by) whose who are a third of the host of heaven who chose to follow Satan.

Their job is to keep us from finding our way and recognizing the shepherd.

They are the real enemies we face every day.

I have heard and read that the real battles we face in life will be in our minds.
This is Satan’s battleground and where we fight and encounter him daily.

But in the midst of their presence a table has been prepared for me.

Yes the earth has been prepared by the Lord as his footstool for our place of learning and growing…Satan is here with his angels.

This phrase gives me comfort in knowing that the Lord completes his work in spite of he who wants to destroy us.

Good will always win in the end and cannot be stopped by the powers of darkness.

Thou anointest my head with oil…

Oil is used to consecrate blessings…or seal them upon us. The Lord has ordained us to receive His fullness and His richest blessings.

My cup runneth over…

This, to me goes along with the last phrase. He has so many blessings for us that we would never be able to receive them all. Our cups would run to over flowing again and again.

But He has said that all that He has is ours.

All that is required is to receive Him as our Savior and follow the shepherd.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord, forever…

I see this phrase…as my legacy to my posterity

The Savior follows our Heavenly Father and does all that the Fathers asks of Him.

The Savior is our shepherd He has asked us to follow Him just as He follows Heavenly Father.

Just as Abraham was promised that his seed would be blessed there is promise for our posterity in the things we do. All that we do really matters, I believe much much more than we can begin to even imagine.

When we decide to follow the shepherd, it influences others who are watching us.  
Like sheep…really all you need to start is just one who believes with all his heart…and then all the others will join in.

Joining in is the first step…once we see the goodness and mercy that is promised by following the shepherd all the sheep become dedicated to the cause.

So all the days of my life on earth and throughout all eternity will be in following the shepherd of mankind and then… surely goodness and mercy will follow me and be a light for others to follow.

These are my interpretations….

This is of course my interpretation and is for me.

You may read something else here depending on what the Savior and our shepherd feels you are in need of in your life.

But in every way that really matters, and to quote David…”the Lord is My Shepherd”.

And because David took the time to write his feelings in the 23rd Psalm, my life has now been changed and enlightened for the better…

My cup runneth over.
 
 

2 comments:

Lindsey said...

I'm so happy you have found some peace. :)

Donna said...

This post is beautiful Mom! Thank you for sharing. I love you!