End of the Year Reflections

For 2012

 

What an amazing year!

There have been some changes, loss, sadness and tears, challenges, trials, worries, and problems…but mostly blessings…and as I have been reflecting on all this…I realized that there has been even a little more clarity in my life.

January – 2012

Sad month for me… Lessons in Letting Go!

Throughout the year of 2011, I did a lot of “letting go” of negative things in my life. Negative thoughts have been big on my “let go of” list and still remain a struggle.

Although negative thoughts are difficult to master, they are certainly not as painful to let go of as another challenge I faced in January of 2012; letting go of someone I cared deeply for.

After a year of fighting to change my life and regain my self-respect, one evening in January, I found myself in tears, and feeling very negative about this relationship.

Sitting there on the edge of the bed, I contemplated what to do.

How had I managed to let myself get into such a negative place in this relationship?

I tried to think of every possible solution that did not include letting go of this person.

But every scenario ended with me feeling disrespected and very unimportant.  I felt that hanging on any longer would mean loss of self –respect. Sadly, I knew I would have to let go. I knew I had no control over his actions, reactions and feelings. All I could control was my own life. I had to let go, in order to feel better about myself.

When someone, you feel is as important to you as the air you breath, can treat you as though you are the least important person in the universe, you cannot possibly feel good about yourself.

I just couldn’t bear to watch our relationship continue to the point of such negativity any longer. Not a relationship that meant so much to me. I would have to let go now, before there was absolutely nothing good left to remember.

Many times, throughout 2012 I have missed the friendship to the point of deep sadness.

And, I really don’t blame him for the loss of self-respect that was caused by our relationship.

I blame myself alone.

I alone am responsible for my happiness and how I feel about myself.

Lesson learned?
Moving on is pretty painful most times, but always a better choice than letting a relationship continue to the point of loss of respect and esteem for yourself and any others involved.
Letting go was not what I would have choosen, had there been any other way that I could continue to love not only myself… but him.

You are responsible for your life... Life is really about moving on. Oprah Winfrey

“Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it.”
― Ann Landers

 

February–

Facing Fears – Lessons in the power of Love

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.
Eleanor Roosevelt

I think buying the ticket was the hardest part. Once I had the non-refundable round trip ticket to Salt Lake City (via a two-wk.- stop in Houston) I was “pretty -much” committed to facing my fear of flying.

Of course, when my daughter Peggy offered to fly with me as far as Houston, it was a “done deal”.

I have already shared the silly antics of, sweaty palms, tight fists, weak-knees, heart palpitations and the like in an earlier post. So, no need to humiliate myself again.

Just am so grateful I lived through it…and didn’t have to say “told-you-so”. 

In case you didn’t know, with someone who has a legit fear of flying…getting on an airplane is certain death.

However, I am proud to report that I lived through that trip and have already made another trip to Salt Lake last August.

 I still don’t like flying, not even a tad…but I will do it lots more I am sure. Why? I am motivated by love.

There are eight grandchildren combined in those two cities and the need to be a present and a loving part of their lives totally out-weighed the possibility of death by air-o-plane / fear of flight. 

Hey, at least if I crashed and burned they would know I was trying to get to where they were, right?

“If you want to know how to overcome fear, then forget fear, and allow love to take hold of your life. The more you can experience love in your life, the more that fear will dissipate. This anonymous quote sums it up beautifully, “Love is what we were born with. Fear is what we learned here.” To consciously rediscover love can show us how to overcome fear by allowing the lessons of fearfulness to unravel and fade away.”

I am capable of great strength when it is for the sake of these who call me Grandma. I have become so impressed with who I can become in the face of great challenge if it is for the sake of those I love.

Further reflection about the strength I find in the power of love has given me more clarity in purpose. More importantly, with this power there is no stopping me. The answer all along has been to look beyond myself. I have finally found my true motivation. DO IT FOR THE CHILDREN!

There should be absolutely no reason why I cannot complete my butterfly quest with the power found in loving.

I now have the golden key and ingredient to make this possible, right?

When I place any fear up against the fear of not doing this for those I love, my strength will always increase. So…What is it that makes Linda tick then? Love.

Why shouldn’t I do all I can to be an example of all that is beautiful, healthy, positive and awesome. Indeed why not?

These are the things I desire for them; self-confidence, self-esteem, physical and spiritual strengthen and…joy and happiness in living, loving and serving.

Our Deepest Fear

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant,
gorgeous, handsome, talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God within us.
It is not just in some; it is in everyone.

And, as we let our own light shine, we consciously give
other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our fear,
our presence automatically liberates others.

We all have the potential to face our fears for those we love. We all are sons and daughters of deity. With God all things are possible. God wants you to achieve your righteous desires.

What a worthy example to leave to your children and have them pass on to future generations.

There is enough potential in my little family alone to change the world with the power of love.

If we all did this for the sake of the love of a child. WE WOULD CHANGE THE WORLD, one family at a time.

“And, as we let our own light shine, we consciously give
other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our fear,
our presence automatically liberates others”

Just had to share that part of the quote again, it is my favorite part.

Are you looking for a great New Year Resolution?

Give up one fear for your children in 2013.

God did not teach us fear…man has done this.

Stand up to fear of all kind and let the power of love heal your life …

Change the world.

 

March–

Learning to trust God…In Spite of yourself

From the very beginning of my butterfly quest I have called upon God to help me.

At first my praying was just a plea… a plea that I might be able to lose weight.  

But then, as I began to lose weight, my prayers began to change.

Slowly…my simple pleadings changed to deeper and more descriptive desires…moving from just asking to lose weight, to wanting to feel better, from wanting to be better, to asking to understand my mission and purpose in life.

Of course my prayers continued to change. As I felt better and better, I got stronger and stronger.

So from March of 2011 to March of 2012, I went from a state of hopelessness about my life, to being in a place in life where I am full of hope and love for life…and not just life in general…but my life.

God is so amazing!

The point here… God heard my prayers and in spite of the fact that all I knew to pray for was that I wanted to lose weight…he in his wisdom knew better than I, what I really needed.

He knew what it would take to turn me from hopeless to “full of hope and love”.

I went on a quest to discover myself… and here is what I have discovered so far; That God knows me, loves me and stands ready to help me…in spite of myself.

All he asked of me is to follow him and trust.

I am sorry…but for me this was an “ah-ha” moment in my life.

I know I am doing a very bad job as a writer here…but maybe this quote will help.

I asked God for strength that I might achieve. I was made weak that I might learn humbly to obey. I asked for health that I might do greater things. I was given infirmity that I might do better things. I asked for riches that I might be happy. I was given poverty that I might be wise. I asked for power that I might have the praise of men. I was given weakness that I might feel the need of God. I asked for all things that I might enjoy life. I was given life that I might enjoy all things. I got nothing that I asked for, but everything I hoped for. Almost despite myself, my unspoken prayers were answered. I am, among all men, most richly blessed.”

When you feel hopeless about anything in your life all you have to do is just muster enough strength to pray. Just pray. Just pray even if you are not sure exactly what to ask for, because God knows before you even ask what is needed. 

I promise he will answer you, just as he has me…in spite of yourself.

“When we struggle in life, our faith is tested. Learning to trust God is a

Life long journey.

There will be days your faith will be challenged. When doors will be locked and you have to wait it out.

Psalm 37:3-4 says, “Trust in the LORD and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.”

God knows today, tomorrow, and all things that intertwine. We cannot see everything He sees and we cannot know everything He knows.

“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts” Isaiah 55:8–9

It’s not that our plans are bad but that God’s plans are better. God knows what you need. He knows your heart and He knows what’s best. Just hold on, it will get better.”

 

April–

Answers to prayers…God moves in mysterious ways

Sometime in early April my prayers changed again.

I began to pray for people to come into my life who could uplift and inspire me. I prayed for God to place those in my life that I could inspire, love and serve.

Once you feel enlightened and excited about life, of course you want to help others, so I began to ask for opportunities to serve.

One of the first times I realized my prayers were being answered I was surprised.

Surprised at the person God had put into my life to inspire and uplift me.

While I was visiting in Utah this past March, I visited with my son Brian, who wanted to share a book with me.

Brian told me that the book had come into his hands as a gift from a friend.

Brian was very troubled at the time his friend shared the book with him. She told him not to rush reading the book but just to read it slowly…pondering as he read. She felt the book might help him.

The book ended up actually helping Brian past his problems with peaceful resolve and inspiration for his life.

I took the book back to SC with me the first of April and had been reading it for about a week.

If I am reading a particular book I usually keep it on my night stand so I can pick it up anytime I have a few minutes during the day.

One morning I was saying my prayers and again asking that God would send special people into my life to inspire me.

As I closed my prayer, my eyes opened and fell on the book laying on my night stand. It was the book Brian had given me.

I was really taken back as I gazed on the book and suddenly realized that this author was someone God had sent into my life to uplift and inspire me.

The author has been dead for many years and yet, here he was… an answer to my prayer.

My eyes filled with tears of gratitude as I realized that God moves in mysterious ways. God is so amazing.

By the way you may to curious to know the name of the book? If so…It is “Walden and Other Writings”, by Henry David Thoreau.

 

May – July

More Answers and Reconnections…

One afternoon in early May I met three old friends from high school for dinner in Oak Ridge. This had become a regular occurrence for us three over the past few months. And this dinner seemed no different, just an opportunity to visit with three old friends.

As we visited together this particular afternoon we discussed getting a larger group together in a few months for a “get together.”

Well, I agreed to organize it. But at that dinner had NO intention of planning a full-scale reunion, just a small “get together”.  I was thinking 15 or so would be great.

Well…I really cannot remember how it got so out of hand. Can’t remember who said what or even what happened next exactly…but the planning  quickly changed…and was as big as surprise to me as anyone, when the next thing I knew I was hosting a full scale high school reunion.

In the end our little “get together plans” grew into a reunion for the Oliver Springs High School graduating classes of 1966, 65, and 67 plus friends.

In all, we hosted a get together that included about 230 graduates and friends from 1961 – 1970.

Of course this was a great success and wonderful experience for me.

I have already written lots about this in an earlier blog post.

But the ripple effects from this planning still continue to bless my life.

Again God moved into my life to answer my prayer in a way I had not anticipated at all.

I went about planning a reunion, not realizing God was answering my prayers.

The whole time I thought I was “just” planning a reunion, God was blessing my life. He was filling it with amazing people.

I have been so overwhelmed by the reconnections I have made that have uplifted and inspired my life.

They are too many to name and tell you about here.  I will have to write a separate post about the continued answers to my prayers.

 

August

Obedience Is Power…

This was an amazing experience for me.

Too amazing to tack on to the end of this post.

Stay tuned then, for my next installment of

End of the Year Reflections for 2012

“More answers to Prayers” & “Obedience Is Power”

Are Mormons saved?

A question I have been asked many times throughout my life but never in quite the manner as I was this time. The question came after being told that because I had impressed this person, as being one who truly cares about others, I had been on his mind and in his prayers. I was very touched and humbled that one so well respected by his peers thought me worthy of his prayers. I thanked him for that and told him that that was truly touching to me. He continued to explain that he meant me no disrespect but was concerned for my understanding of just who Christ truly is and what it means to be saved.

As I looked into the eyes of he who asked the question, I saw sincerity there. I felt he was truly concerned for me and so I felt I should try and answer the question with the same passion, conviction and sincerity as it was asked.

“Yes, I am saved”, I answered. Then with a tearful, tender heart and all the sincerity I could muster, I looked into the eyes of this man and declared that I believe in Jesus Christ, that he is my savior and I love him.

However then, as I continued to look into his eyes, I saw that my answer was not enough. He had already judged me based on what he perceived my beliefs to be. He had already decided I was not saved before he even asked me or heard my answer. As I listened to him explain that it would be very unfortunate for someone of my kind and thoughtful ways, to be misled and therefore miss out on receiving my reward in heaven, I realized he did not think me a Christian.  

I mean to show no disrespect to this man…

I could clearly see from his countenance that his question for me was born from concern and love. He clearly believes in the savior, Jesus Christ, and feels he has a duty to share this knowledge with others. I respect that.

He then went on to explain that he had copied an article that would help me see the error of my understanding. He felt this article might have information about my faith that I may not be aware of. He again told me that he did not want to offend me and that he would understand if I did not want to read it.

Still…I saw sincerity and the light of compassion in his eyes and so I accepted the challenge to read it on the condition that once I had read…he and I would talk again. (Even though I have been a member of this church for fifty years and always avoided reading literature that criticizes my faith)

 

Let me leave just one more thought here…

“By their fruits ye shall know them.” This man’s spirit was bearing good fruit and I recognized it. I sincerely believe that his question was not asked in a manner to condemn me but he rather was attempting to enlighten me to the ways of his understanding pertaining to salvation.

His question, as well as, the article, has caused me serious reflection over the last couple of weeks. I have felt the gambit of emotions; fear, determination, sadness, unworthiness, weakness, confusion (I could go on and on) but finally…love and inspiration seem to have rested upon me as I prayerfully investigated the article and reflected again and again as to just who Christ is…to me and in my life.

I now want to attempt to answer the question one more time. And I say attempt because I am human.

If there be fault with my definition of whom Christ is and what it means to be saved, it will be because of my weakness as a human…an imperfect being, sometimes incapable of seeing beyond my own understandings and experiences in life. Not because the teachings or doctrine of the Mormon Church are lacking in any way, but because I lack the knowledge and skill to give them proper credit and justice with my words.  So, please forgive me if my words in any way disrespect the true and perfect nature of who Christ truly is. I do realize that I am imperfect and therefore perfectly capable of making mistakes.

 

Regarding the article…

At first I wanted to read the article and prove that it was wrong. However, since reflecting and praying over the last few days, I feel that if one has decided this article is proof enough, and is convinced that this couple who wrote it (who neither you nor I know from Adam, are telling the truth) it wouldn’t matter what I say in defense of my faith. It would simply become my word against theirs in the end.  

Human nature is of such that we can disprove anything without much effort. If this were not true, there would not be so many religions or ways of believing in one God. One God who clearly points out in the scriptures, he is the same today as he was yesterday and is not a God of confusion.

Ask the monk, the Jew or the agnostic and atheist, they each and every one can prove their belief, or in the latter case, disbelief. I cannot prove to you with my words that this article is false, any more than this couple can prove it is true. So we will both have to rely on the Holy Ghost and prayer for our own confirmation.

I may attempt to comment here as I write on some of the accusations in the article, but I will not focus on what two who have chosen to leave the church have to say.  I have read the document and found it to be just the opinions of a couple who I know nothing about. I do not put my trust in man.

I am curious as to why so many choose to read this hype anyway. If you want to know what it is like to be a rabbit why would you seek out the cow or the duck to enquire? If you want to know what it is like to be a Mormon why do you not ask the believer? If you are just trying to disprove it…I refer again to my comment that ANYTHING can be disproved in the hearts and minds of men…even that God exists!

Again, I will not focus on this article too much, but I will take this opportunity to write about my belief in God the eternal father and in his son Jesus Christ. I will also share how I perceive the plan of salvation.

I believe in Jesus Christ…

I love being a grandmother and I have always loved being around little children. Children are so tender, teachable and excepting when it comes to faith and the promptings of the spirit. They don’t have to have everything proven or explained to them. What great examples they are to us grown-ups. (…a little child shall lead them)

 My granddaughter Emilee is not of my same faith, but I respect and love Emilee with all my heart. I believe she is loved by the Lord, that she knows him and shares a trusting relationship with him. She has a great knowledge for her age of who the savior is. She seems to understand and believe, beyond her years, in the power of faith and prayer.

Though I am careful to respect the teachings of her mother and father, she and I often share our feelings about God with each other.

Just recently she tearfully shared a tender experience that she had had with a new friend from school.  Her new friend is not from America and had never had the opportunity to learn anything about Jesus Christ and his teachings.  Emilee was troubled and worried for her friend’s salvation. She began to cry as she shared with me the conversation that she had with her friend about who God is.

I could see by Emilee’s tears that she feared that if her friend did not accept Christ as her savior she could not go to heaven.

I tried to comfort Emilee as she cried and told me about the kind of person her friend is. Emilee felt that her friend is such a special and good girl that it would be unfair that she might not ever know God.

We talked about Christ’s life, his example, his teachings and his tender mercy. We talked about how he had died for everyone, and that means even those who have never heard his name.

Christ is not only the ultimate example of compassion, love and mercy, but is no respecter of persons. He is the judge of our hearts.

As Emilee wiped her tears, I saw a little smile coming back to her face. I was impressed with her resolve to trust in the savior. She felt certain that the savior she knows, trusts and loves will provide a way for her friend. What a beautiful testimony she has of who Christ is.

The Judge of my Heart and Yours…

The Savior’s ability and power to know and judge our hearts is shown in the biblical story of Malchus.

The only thing we know about Malchus for sure is that he was the servant to the high priest, Caiaphas. Because the main focus on the account of the arrest of Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane is the arrest itself, the story of Malchus appears almost dismissed as unimportant. But I love the part about Malchus because it really reveals so much about who Jesus Christ really is.

As Jesus was approached by those who came to arrest him in the Garden of Gethsemane his apostles were present. Probably in an attempt to protect and save his master, one of the apostles, Peter, had a sword and appears ready to use it. Although the savior seems ready for his arrest and willing to go, the apostles were confused and really don’t seem to understand the magnitude and importance of what is taking place. This seems obvious in the scriptures and the confusion and misunderstanding may be the reason Peter then cuts off the ear of Malchus. It is most likely in an attempt to defend his master, Jesus Christ.

What Jesus does and says next is amazing and so inspires me. First of all he tells Peter to put away his sword. Here is Peter who has been with Jesus long enough to know him as a close friend. He has sat at his feet and listened to his teachings yet he clearly seems confused as to just what is going on and as to why Jesus is so willing to submit to his enemies and his arrest. As Jesus is telling Peter to put away the sword, it appears that he is trying to reason and remind Peter that all is as it should be.

And then there is Malchus, who obviously does not know the Savior at all because he is relying on Judas to point him out with a kiss. Malchus has never had the opportunity to hear Jesus teach, to see him heal the sick or raise the dead. Malchus does not know of his tender and loving ways and yet the Savior show compassion and mercy as he touches and completely heals the ear of Malchus

Malchus, doing as he has been instructed by his master, has come to arrest a traitor. Jesus has just come from the garden where he has suffered for each and every one of us. Jesus is not only ready to go with those who have come for him but appears to be thinking of others. Here Jesus is going like a lamb to the slaughter and still reaches out to one of the least of us…Malchus, and restores his ear. “It will be all right now” he tells Malchus. Who better understands who Malchus is than Jesus Christ who has just paid for his life by suffering for his sins?

This is who Jesus Christ is. The only judge of our hearts.

It is easy to become judgmental as a Christian, especially when someone may not share our same beliefs. But Jesus tells us that we are not to judge. He actually cautions this and promises that by this same judgment shall we be judge.

Jesus Christ is love.

In Defense…

There were so many negative things said about my church in this article that it would take weeks to address them all. And as I have already pointed out it would just be my word against theirs.

The fact that the church as changed its name and some of its teachings since it was first established seems to be an issue here for the writers. So just on this one point then…here is my defense.

Most protestant religions originated from change…change from the Catholic Church in England. All their beginnings seem to stem from the interpretation and desires of men who wanted to see and make changes in the original Catholic belief and doctrine. These changes are according to the understandings of men.

History teaches us that the Reformation was a time of change and that many religions arose from it.  If you want to read about the history of these churches you will find change. Change in not only the names of the churches that reformed from the original Catholic Church, but change in doctrine, some scriptures and most definitely teachings.

If change was a sign of hypocrisy or a way to prove a religion wrong then surely all those who have changed from the original Catholic Church don’t have a leg to stand on.

So you can see here why simply because the Mormon Church has changed its name or doctrine over the years does not prove it wrong. Although the Mormon Church did not arise from the reformation but was established and began from a vision, we are still accused here of being wrong because we have seen change.

I agree that if you are looking to find mistakes made by the early leaders of the Mormon Church you will find them. These mistakes were made my men. I will make no effort to defend some of the things that were done. I did not live in the 1800s, do not have a clue as to how hard and harsh the conditions would have been for a church that has been misunderstood and persecuted from the very beginning.

What I will defend is my testimony…

The establishment of the Mormon Church came about because a young boy was confused as to which of all the churches he should join. He faithfully trusted that God would answer his prayer if he asked.

This young boy was not seeking to change anything. But because he had faith that God would answer him he did receive an answer that eventually led to the establishment of the Mormon Church or The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day-saints.

Again he did not set out to change any church or anything about the Bible. We believe the Bible to be the word of God and use the King James Version. The Mormons have never tried to change anything in the Bible nor have they ever set about to write one of their own. Contrary to what some say, the Book of Mormon is not a Mormon bible.

The Book of Mormon is a record of people who came out of Jerusalem, being warned of its coming destruction and were led by God to America. The Book of Mormon is a record of their lives and is in fact another testament that Jesus is the CHRIST and our savior. We believe that these people were some of those who Jesus mentioned when he said, “And other sheep I have, which are not of this fold: them also I must bring, and they shall hear my voice; and there shall be one fold, and one shepherd.”

From one who has read this Book I declare it to be beautiful and true. Nowhere else have I ever read any more tender and amazing accounts of Jesus’ love for us. Nowhere in the book do I find anything but more clarity about who the Savior Jesus Christ is. There is absolutely nothing dark, secretive or confusing about this book. It was written for the convincing of Jew and gentile that the very Jesus of Nazareth is absolutely the only true Savior. Together with the Bible they stand as a testament that Jesus is exactly who he said was, the savior of all mankind.

I am just one of God’s most imperfect daughters and have no right to try to describe to you his majesty, mercy and glory. My weakness in the flesh, even though I love him dearly, makes me feel so unworthy to try and testify of his greatness.

I would never attempt to judge the heart of another individual to the point that I would fear for their salvation. I believe that Christ will be the only one to do that. God is no respecter of persons, he being loving, just and merciful will provide for everyone. In the plan of salvation all will have an opportunity to know of him. God’s ways are not man’s ways. We cannot assume to understand how everything works. Otherwise there would be no reason for faith. It is dangerous to judge others by our understandings of what we perceive to be right.  

I know lots of wonderful people who do not believe exactly like I do. They belong to Jesus Christ and he will judge them by their hearts.

So in conclusion then…

My heart knows Jesus...and Jesus knows my heart.

I may not know the Jesus of your description…but I know him and I love him.

I boldly say to you who are reading this post…stop judging the Mormon Church based on here-say. If you want to know what it is like to be a horse go straight to the horse. Don’t go asking ducks.

Stop reading articles written by those who have left the church. Go get a copy of the Book of Mormon and read it for yourself. Read it and ask God if it is true. If you will read it with a sincere heart he will answer you.  Don’t put your trust in man. Trust in God he will never fail you.

I am a Mormon. I am a Christian. I am saved.

Stop wasting so much time trying to find fault with my love for Jesus Christ and God.

“By their fruits ye shall know them”

To this man who asked the question and his lovely wife…

My sincere thanks for asking the question…it has been a profound and enlightening experience finding the answer. God bless you with his very best. I pray that something in my words or in my manner will witness to you that Yes, Mormons know and believe in Christ…and they are saved.

And what of that dark hallow space in the center of your being…can you fill that with food?

Several months ago the movie preview for “Joyful Noise” caught my attention.  The previewed music sounded great and I was intrigued at the thought of Dolly Parton and Queen Latifah in a movie together. It appeared that it might be funny as well as have great music.  So I invited Peggy and Emilee and we went together that next weekend.

The movie had scarcely begun when the music started pulling me in. After about thirty minutes I suddenly was aware that I had not moved nor taken my eyes off the screen since it had begun. As I sat in a dead stare I realized I was smiling so big that my jaw was beginning to hurt. I felt enveloped, as though some magical power in this movie had captured me.

As I became aware of the nonsensical grin on my face, I was a little embarrassed. I was embarrassed that I had become so entranced so I quickly looked around to see if anyone had noticed how bewitched I had become.

 I was aware that the music was warming, comforting and lifting my spirits, but could not understand why I felt so…so, well for lack of a better word, elated, almost drunk in love. I felt the music literally filling me up with the most exciting and wonderful warmth. I was overwhelmed and realized I had not felt like this in a very long time.   I was literally tingling from my head to my toes. It felt like the sun was shining inside me and I was aglow. “Holy Cow, is everyone feeling this”? I quickly looked around the theatre fully expecting everyone to be entranced in a smiling stupor with me. However, I could see that everyone, though seeming pleased, was NOT jumping up and down for joy, and clapping wildly for more, more, more!

 I was so excited about the movie I wanted to return and did, several times. I took my daughter Donna; I took my son Bobby and then returned again by myself. Although the movie was enjoyable for my family no one seemed to experience what I did. And though I enjoyed it the second, third and fourth time, I myself never again experienced the same euphoria as I had the first time.

I have thought about this experience several times since it happened and the only answer I have for it, other than it is an enjoyable movie… is that I was so thirsty for what this music had to offer that evening that my spirit could not drink it in fast enough.

I was like a dry sponge that had finally been given what it hungered and existed for, moisture…nourishment…light and joy. However these are mere adjectives and they don’t do justice to how enlightened I felt. But they are all I have to describe what happened to me. All I know is, when the music began, it felt as though it poured into my being. The music came in through my ears and it vibrated through every cell of my body, filling and nourishing my dry and parched soul.

I have since realized that music is one way I can nourish my spirit. Not only is it one way but an extremely important way for me. I can tell when it has been too long and look and long for ways to bring more music into my life. What a beautiful and wonderful gift music is. I wish I had a way to have it in my life everyday like I experienced that evening while watching Joyful Noise. If you have not seen the movie I encourage you to rent it and indulge. Although I cannot promise you that you will experience what I did the first time I saw it, I think if you like music, you will enjoy it.

http://joyfulnoisemovie.warnerbros.com/dvd/index.html#/home

 

I realized that evening how important music is to my life, my light and my spirit. Music is vital nourishment for my spirit and like many other wonderful things is a gift from God. Gifts he has given to inspire, uplift, nourish and replenish our souls. You may feel the same about music as I do, or you may have a strong connection to other gifts he has placed in your life. The important thing here is to realize what power these gifts have and how they can nourish and lift you. Keep them and other treasures and gifts close to you. Surround yourself with them.

Fill Your World with Color and Beauty

Fill your life and your world with the colors, textures, scents, sounds and objects that are beautiful to you, that have meaning to you. Remember that we are connected to our environment. The objects and the colors in our world have energy and meaning. They have an impact on us.

Objects have energy.  They have energy already in them when we obtain them and they have energy and meaning we attribute to them. Choose carefully the possessions you want around you…

Choose objects and colors that make your heart smile.

Journey to the Heart,   Melody Beattie

Spiritual nourishment for me…is many things.

Of course it is reading the scriptures and attending church. But in my life I have found that not only is there many other ways to nourish…but that they are vital to living a healthy and joyful life.

 I am sure that the gifts that God has placed here on earth for us to partake of, create with, and use for good, have to do with the fulfilling of our own divine missions in life.

You will be drawn to these things and will know them immediately. They are the good things in life that lift, refresh, inspire and comfort. “If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things. AND it is vital that you do.

Nature is another gift…

 Or connection that uplifts inspires and nourishes our spirits. I am drawn to nature as many of you are I am sure.

One of the first spiritual experiences I ever had was in the great outdoors with nature.

 When I was about 10 years old my family lived in California. Although my Mom and Dad had not yet introduced me and my brothers to God or church we were introduced to nature and its beauty very early on. We spent many Sundays taking family trips and outings where we were allowed to experience nature.

On one of these trips my family went to the Redwood Forest in California. I have never forgotten the forest and it is on my bucket list to return there at least once more.  

I made a connection to nature that day unlike any I had ever felt. I don’t recall much about the trip. I don’t remember how long it took to get there, or if we took a picnic. I don’t recall anything anyone said to me or how long we stayed. But, I do recall the color and smell of these amazing trees. I remember the way the earth felt under my feet and the way the sun filtered through the tops of these enormous and beautiful trees. I do recall my amazement at the size and majesty of this creation. Somehow they seemed more alive to me than any other plant I had ever encountered. I had a spiritual awakening and I remember the feelings of connection I felt to those trees. I remember the awe I felt as a child as I walked through them.  The feeling of awe I had, and still have… every time I recall the trees or see a picture of them. As a young girl I did not know what this overwhelming feeling was that I experienced as I walked among these gigantic trees and felt their sacred power that day. But I do now. My spirit recognized this beautiful place as a place of beauty, majesty and sacredness. A place where my spirit was nourished and I felt a connection to God unlike I had ever felt before.

 

 

A Prayer about Nature and God's Creation

Loving Father and Creator of all we come to you today deeply grateful for your creation. As we look around us we are amazed at the greatness and majesty of all that you have made. Nature around us speaks of your greatness - the vast expanse of the sky, the mountains, trees, lakes and streams speak of your great design. You have given us such beauty in the colors of the rainbow, the beauty of flowers and fields. Words cannot adequately express the magnificence of all you have created. We join in praise with the writer of the psalms when he says, "O Lord, our Lord, how majestic is your name in all the earth." May we show our love and reverence to you, our Lord, by caring for all that you have created. We humbly give you praise and thanks. Amen

I am realizing this blog could go on and on as I try to describe ways that I nourish my spirit…

I cannot list them all but if you will, I would like to add one more

 

The beauty of light inspires and uplifts me…

My mother passed away about 11 years ago. Of course I still miss her but the first few months were the worst.

She died in February and the days of winter had already become cold and short. I realized by the end of March that I was depressed and was having a hard time pulling myself out of it. I began to feel like darkness was closing in on me. As the hour of the day would approach 4 pm I would start to dread sundown. It made me feel cold and so alone. It finally became so bad I would go out at night in search of the moon so I could see the reflection of the sun there. I knew if the moon was shining then the sun was too…somewhere. And that became very important to me as I struggled to find happiness in life again. I finally felt the depression lift as spring came around, but I gained a great love and appreciation for the sun and its light that winter.

I am not one to keep the curtains closed during the day and when I wake up one of the first things I do is pull the curtains back and let the light of day filter into my home.

 I remember my daughter Cheryl lived with me while I was going through this and helped me during those long months of winter by encouraging me to fill the house with candles. Everywhere we could find a spot for a candle, we had one. I still love and look forward to candles and twinkling lights at the beginning of winter and through the holidays until spring or as long as I can get away with.

I love art that uses light as part of its artistic process and isn’t complete without it. Like stained glass. Although I have only had a little experience with stained glass, I am certainly a lover of this art and would like to learn more about it. There are lots of pieces of art that show reflections of light in amazing ways and I am always drawn to those pieces of art in a nurturing way... I look for ways to bring light into my home with art and in other creative ways.

 I love the analogy of Christ being the light of the world. I see light as an amazing gift that nourishes my spirit and lifts my heart to a happy place just as I see my savior. He is the light of my life.

As I end this blog I just want to recall the last blog I wrote several months ago. I wrote about the lack of spiritual nourishment I had experienced and how important it is to not let this happen. I have spent a lot of time pondering the wonderful gifts I have in my life that inspire me and uplift me. The gifts that nourish my spirit and help me live a happy life. I cannot close without mentioning the greatest gift of all.

Love.

Love really does lift me up to where I belong, just like the song says. Thank you God for the ability to love and be loved and especially for your love…and all the wonderful ways you fill my life with it.

That emptiness you feel…that hole in the pit of your soul…you know what I am talking about? You can’t fill that with food. You are in need of spiritual nourishment. It will be vital to your health in every way to find what nourishes your spirit and feed it.

Bon Appetit Butterflies!