Your light is almost OUT…Stop and refill

 My latest distractions…

Over the last couple of months I have been very busy planning a high school reunion. My daily activity for the most part has been focused on the success of this reunion.

If you read my last blog about the experiences I had planning the reunion, you may be surprised that all the tender and sweet experiences of reconnecting to old and dear friends, although very rewarding and inspiring, left me with a big empty feeling and hole the size of Texas in my core or spirit.

Yes, I felt fulfilled by the success of the reunion and actually learned a lot about me and my needs. But that doesn’t mean I have not been aware that I was missing something, neglecting something the whole while I was so busy and distracted by the reunion.

 In fact, although at first I only noticed a loneliness and sadness, by the time the reunion planning was well underway I already had become acutely aware that my spirituality was lacking.  And for the most part, the emptiness I felt when the reunion was all over was a direct result of a lack of spiritual nourishment.

I was putting my spirituality on hold… because I thought I did not have time for it.

Just how many times in one person’s life does she need to be reminded that you CAN NOT NEGLECT YOUR SPIRIT?

What has spirituality and spiritual nourishment got to do with becoming all you are meant to be?

How can it help my butterfly quest?

How can it help me become the best authentic part of myself? And more importantly, how can it fill that empty space in the core of my and your being that you keep thinking can be filled with a doughnut, or whatever vice it is that brings that temporary ‘rush’ and then drops you flat… and lets you down harder each time?

I don’t have to tell you I am sure. You already know just as I do. There are no physical resolutions in God realm…everything is spiritual to God. So the answer to every situation, trial, problem and question in your life is spiritual.

Everything you need to fill that empty feeling in your life is spiritual. Of course you need to eat to live… the difference is that you should not be LIVING to EAT!

Every answer to every pain, hurt, frustration, problem and dilemma in my life and yours has a spiritual answer.

I am not sure where I am going here with this blog…just know that God has been teaching me for several months now about spiritual nourishment and being able to share this experience with you, the reader, is helping me digest it. J So thanks be to Bogging Spots and people who read them!

I have felt this empty, hallow, dark feeling many times in my life but had no idea for the longest time what the heck it was. Just knew I did not like the feeling, so I tried filling it, suppressing it, and soothing it the best I could… with comfort foods.

I know some of my children and friends experience this lonely, deeply sad and hallow feeling as well I do, because we have talked about it. Talked about the fact that we don’t understand where it comes from and why it is there.

Where does such negativity come from, especially when you are trying to take care of your life and responsibilities in an honest, committed and respectful manner?

 Maybe you even attend church every Sunday, and still before the end of the week feel sad, lonely and defeated before you can get back to church again the next Sunday.

Here is what Joyce Meyer has to say about it in her book, “Look Great Feel Great.”

“Caught up in a busy life style many people mistake the void they feel inside for physical hunger. They were never taught to recognize spiritual hunger, or what to do about it if they do recognize it. Since they don’t know what to do about the pain and loneliness, they reach for the quickest fix they know: food, drugs, alcohol or other material pleasures.

Today more people are spiritually malnourished than ever before. Too many elements of society distract people from their eternal souls and encourage them to concentrate on material life instead. People get caught up with making money to buy bigger and spiffier cars, or with following the latest trends. Families are less likely to live close together, removing another spiritual support. Time for church and religious matters, or even for spending quiet time in nature, is pushed aside by busy schedules and entertainment. The quiet voice of God is drowned out by the constant drone of the TV set.”

In my life, the more I am distracted by life, allowing me to justify spiritual malnourishment, the more likely I am to have this empty feeling.  

Life is not easy…there are times in life when it is definitely easier to neglect your spirituality; loss of a job, a sick child, death, divorce. Ok then, you are right…that is life, so I guess I am saying, life and its distractions will fill up your time with business, work, distractions, pain, hurt, discouragements and loss…so you will be distracted and neglect feeding your spirit.

Once you know and recognize this emptiness for what it truly is… let it be a warning sign that your light is almost OUT…Stop and refill.

25:1 "Then the kingdom of heaven shall be likened to ten virgins
who took their lamps and went out to meet the bridegroom

25:3 those who were foolish took their lamps and took no oil with them,

25:6 and at midnight a cry was heard:
'Behold, the bridegroom is coming; go out to meet him!'

25:10 and while they went to buy, the bridegroom came,
and those who were ready went in with him to the wedding;
and the door was shut.

The part of this parable that just crushes my heart every time I read it is, “AND THE DOOR WAS SHUT.”

In other words…when you least expect it… and I am talking almost every day, life brings on the challenges; disappointments, heartaches and discouragements.

I bet you are a lot like me and if you have neglected your spiritual nourishment have a hard time coping with the darkness of life when you are standing there with a lamp that cannot be lit. And of course Satan has been watching and knows this is when to send in the heavy artillery.

Bad thoughts, defeating thoughts….negative, negative, negative. After a healthy dose of negativity in Satan’s battleground…which is your mind…you are defeated before you even begin.

Sound familiar??? It should if you are a human and living on earth in a physical body.  I mean if you are a spiritual being having physical experience which we truly are.

Me letting you in where angels fear to tread….

As a single, older but still passionate and loving lady, I have found the challenge of being single very taxing…as well as disappointing. I miss the blessing of having a companion in my life who is my best friend, my lover and my confidant. Someone who is anxious to share his feelings with me, as well as he to know my heart.

Over the last year I have spoken with and seen a few men who seem to be experiencing the same life changing phenomena in their own lives and are out searching the debris and fallout from love gone wrong….for whatever reason… for a new companion.

I have found this search mostly painful and truly disappointing so far. Although I am more incline at this point in life to know what I want in a relationship, it seems to be impossible for if it is there somewhere then…it is very well hidden.

For so far, the only one I would love and wanted to know with all my heart… has other ideas and interests. And those who seem more than willing…only leave my cup half full…with my heart and my thoughts returning to how I feel about…the later…for there seems to be no comparison to that feeling and so I keep coming up empty!

I share this to make a point...

This disappointing and sad emptiness felt by being lonely for companionship has been a distraction to me. I know this and have gone to Heavenly Father many times about it in prayer. Asking for this to be removed…just take this desire away…please.

Hasn’t happen yet…I am sad to say. But because God is merciful and loving he has shown me why I feel this way, and how he wants me to live with it, in spite of it.

The answers to our prayers are not always what we want to hear…but always what we need. Be sure you are really listening and not just waiting to hear what you think the answers should be.

At other times in my life I have asked the same question of God…many times. Please take this from me…I cannot do it.

All things are possible with God….His scriptures reassure us that he will never give us more than we can bear. He did not say if would be easy…but he did say ‘It will be worth it.” Experience has taught me that as soon as I am willing to wait upon the Lord, my burdens always become more bearable. Most times they are not taken away but my ability to endure becomes greater.

We all need love and acceptance in our lives. I have a very loving family and an awesome group of friends who support and love me. I am a truly blessed woman.

There is however someone I need to have a closer relationship with. There is someone who wants to be my constant companion; he will never let me down or disappoint me, he always loves me and it doesn’t matter whether I wear a size 6 or 26, he will always accept me. He is my Heavenly Father.

Of course, like any other relationship I will need to do my part...

So…the answer to my prayer, for now, is that...God wants me to learn to “lean on him” and not another man. At least for right now, I guess God is a jealous God after all J

Just like any loving parent he places restrictions and boundaries to guard and protect his children. Like a gentle and wise shepherd lovingly shutting the coral gate in order to guide us in the right direction…he drives his sheep into the meadows where the grass is greener and will provide for the spiritual growth we need.

I need to be independent, confident and assured that I can stand on my own faith, no matter what.  I do see how I can learn this better alone…that is alone, with God.

Hopefully with the strength found through spiritual nourishment, I will find my way in life…to my best self.

This is a pretty human and revealing side of me I have shared with you, I know…it is hard to teach someone though if you are not willing to bear all and share.

I am not looking for your compassion here either. Please don’t feel sorry for me. Feel happy that God loves me and cares about every aspect of my life…and your life. Even down to what you eat…physically and spiritually.

This could have been your story here in my blog…about whatever challenges you are facing in your life right now. It could have been written about whatever you are distracted by. What are you thinking you cannot have or do? Maybe you have been feeling a little sorry for yourself and left to your own?

You are not alone. You are not any more alone than I have been. He is there. If you are important enough to die for then you are important in every portion and every part of your life to Him who gave his life that you might have and find yours.

Try considering that God is trying to direct you to a place you cannot see with your physical eyes…you will have to use your spiritual eyes to get there. And those eyes need to be spiritually nourished by Him.

This is getting to be a pretty long blog and of course it is late. I mean early in the morning, a quarter to three exactly. So I will save the ways I feel inspired to nourish my spirit with you for next time. I promise!

I saw this awesome picture on Facebook tonight. I have to get it framed as I want to wake up and see it on my night stand every morning. This is how I want to live my life.

Happy eating butterflies. Good night J