SCARS….The Sequel

The Past….

You can remember just enough to avoid repeating the mistake…Dismiss the destructive, and keep dismissing it until the beauty of the Atonement of Christ has revealed to you your bright future and the bright future of your family, your friends, and your neighbors. God doesn’t care nearly as much about where you have been as He does about where you are and, with His help, where you are willing to go.

I know I left my last post in an unfinished place (a ‘waiting place’ as Lindsey might sayJ), because I had not come to any conclusions. I am very pleased to report though, that I did receive a feeling of understanding and conclusion on the matter a few days later, but because of holiday travels, shopping and visiting I have not had a chance to write…

The rest of the story…

I read several articles and scriptures about ‘spiritual amnesia’ as well as ‘forgetting where our blessings come from’ before I finally began to feel comforted. I now feel I have a better understanding of why I had this “wakeup call.” When I read the highlighted quote above, I pretty much felt…

This was my answer…

I don’t have to remember all the tragic details of my past, and to be healthy, should remember only enough to keep me from repeating the same mistakes. It is the future I should be looking to, with faith that the best is yet to be. God doesn’t care nearly as much about where I have been as He does about where I am headed and what I am willing to do to get there.

Keep your eyes on your dreams, however distant and far away. Live to see the miracles of repentance and forgiveness, of trust and divine love that will transform your life today, tomorrow, and forever.

The poet Robert Browning wrote:

Grow old along with me!

The best is yet to be,

The last of life, for which the first was made:

Our times are in his hand

Who saith, “A whole I planned,

Youth shows but half; trust God: see all, nor be afraid!” ²

I will keep my scars then as reminders of where I have come from but focus on the future. “Don’t let you past dictate who you will be…but let it be a stepping stone to who you can become, where the best is yet to be”

I am realizing more and more each day that looking back is only ‘holding me back’. I am amazed at the place I have come to in my quest for health and strength and what I am learning about me. I feel sometimes like I am seeing color again where there has only been black and white. For the first time in a very long time, I am braver, stronger and so much happier. I am learning to play the harp, learning about computer software programs, and thinking of leaving the world of retirement and going back to working again in the coming New Year. I have come from feeling I am not worth loving, to feeling I have so much love to give. Really, I am so excited to see what happens next that I can hardly wait to get there.

When something is over and done with, when it has been repented of as fully as it can be repented of, when life has moved on as it should and a lot of other wonderfully good things have happened since then, it is not right to go back and open some ancient wound that the Son of God Himself died to heal.

Remembering Lot’s Wife…

Lot and his family were told to move on that Sodom and Gomorrah would be destroyed. They were told to leave right away and not to look back.  Of course we all know that Lots wife did not obey…she looked back and was turned to a pillar of salt. I know it was not just ‘looking back’ that caused this to happen to her.  Part of what she did wrong was to longingly look back…She was probably resenting having to leave the comforts of her home and the life she knew.

It is sometimes so hard to let go of the past…even a bad past. There is some weird comfort in the past…we get used to feeling sorry for ourselves, and justify staying there because to move on and live in the future will take trusting in it. Lot’s wife did not believe that the Lord could provide a better life for her in the future than what she was leaving behind.  Insanity…yes, but I can relate to her on so many levels. I know I won’t turn to salt if I look back but…looking back does distract me and keep me from putting my full trust in God and knowing that, “the best is yet to be”

My conclusion then...

The past is to be learned from but not lived in. We look back to claim the embers from glowing experiences but not the ashes. And when we have learned what we need to learn and have brought with us the best that we have experienced, then we look ahead and remember that faith is always pointed toward the future. Faith always has to do with blessings and truths and events that will yet be efficacious in our lives.

All highlighted quotes

From a Brigham Young University devotional address given on January 13, 2009. For the full text of the address in English, visit http://speeches.byu.edu.