My Birthday Prayer

Do you think back over the past year when your birthday gets really close?? Seems I do that a lot.

Usually I think of all the things I wanted to do and have done by the time my birthday would roll around again, and didn’t quite “get- her-done”… then feel sad and regretful…and end up feeling like a “L” Loser.

Negative self-talk…spoils a birthday every time and every year.

The two birthdays that seemed to be the hardest for me was 30 and 50. Both times I felt an era in my life was over and there were still things I had not gotten done that I had vowed to do within the year or decade before.

As far as 30 goes

…I did exactly what I had planned to do in my 20’s. And that was to create a family. In my mind I saw it going sooo much easier than it had turned out be though. It is an extremely physical, emotional, hormonal and exhausting feat to create 6 little bodies and then feed, love and care for them all at the same time…throw in helping outside the home with community/school and church service and I was one busy young woman. OH….I can’t forget music because in my 20’s I was singing at every opportunity that came along; church, weddings, funerals, community shows and teaching….which I loved, teaching songs to the children in my church.

Although this birthday was a tearful one for me it should have been a wild and crazy celebration

….I had actually done what I had set out to do. Have at least 5 or 6 children and be a real live MOM. There is absolutely NOTHING I have EVER wanted more. What made me feel like a failure then?? Reading back over this list of activities and experiences does not sound like the life of a failure does it? Come on…you know I was a super woman back then… I am 64 tomorrow I deserve a pat on the back here. J I guess I should thank my ex-husband here for his support through all of this. He actually loves being a Dad as much as I love being a mother AND he always encouraged me to sing, be active and serve others. I was lucky to find one whose dreams of family and life were so close to mine.

Negative Self Talk (Hmmmmmmmmm)

– I cannot recall very well the negative things that were going through my mind the day before that 30^th birthday. Sad, that I let my focus be on what I had not done and what I was not doing perfectly… spoil a perfectly wonderful birthday. Obviously looking back…what I had not been able to accomplish was not important enough for a 64 year old grandmother to remember or even care about.

Funny thing…Time certainly brings one’s perspective about life and what is important more clearly into view.

Your mind has a built in filter that Satan tries to keep clogged up and pollute with negativity…

Positive self-talk is how we clean up the filter.

 The mind is where Satan works out his strong holds and fights to keep you from becoming all you are meant to be.

If he can keep the filter clogged then nothing of any good comes from your thoughts and into your life.

But when your thoughts are positive and clean the bad just flows right through the filter and all that is left is a happy, positive and productive person with endless possibilities for a happy healthy life.

50 was a little different

…an old way of life was ending in divorce and my future looked scary. I think a lot of us do look back on our 50^th birthday and realize…hey my young life is over now…And why have I NOT done this or that…

maybe we are even thinking it is too late now because we screwed up way to badly to fix things.

Not so though…YOUTH, yes it is fleeting… but YOUNG is a state of mind.

I am so much younger now today and will be tomorrow when I turn 64 than I was on the day I turned 50.

…”to infinity and beyond”

It is a state of mind!! If you choose negative thoughts about yourself then yes you are an old woman with not much purpose left in this life and you just might as well lay down and get ready to die….BUT if you choose the positive…then…”to infinity and beyond” and there is no limit. My heart is young today and full of love and excitement about life and its possibilities.

My 64^th Birthday Prayer

Dear Heavenly Father

Thank you sooooooo much for your love.

For loving me even when I didn’t love myself.

For not giving up on me even when I had given up on you.

Thank you with all my heart for my beautiful children.

Thankyou for their love, friendship and support.

Thank you for all they have taught me about love and life and you.

Thank you for blessing me with motherhood. It is my crown and glory.  

Thank you for the times you walked with me through fire as a mother and inspired me with direction and faith that all would work out with illnesses and trials that were difficult for a mother to bear.

Thank you for helping me to learn to love myself. Sorry it took me so long to GET IT!

Thank you for never giving up that one day I would catch on.

Thank you for the gift of health you have so abundantly showered me with this year. Thankyou for making me feel beautiful and reminding me of my self-worth.

Thank you for being so present in my life and the lives of those I love so very much. Thank you for opportunities to serve you through others.

Please use me. Lead me to find the heart that is hurting…use me to help mend. Let me be a tool in your hands.

Thank you for this next year and all that I will become. Thank you for letting me become able to fulfill my divine purpose here on earth.

To love and be loved is the most wonderful possibility in all of eternity.

Please continue to lead me toward a life of love, service and happiness.

AND thank you for sending me to parents here on earth who made sure I knew who you are.

I love YOU.

Amen